


traumatic

by h3artpuls3



Category: Moonshadow (Comic), Original Work
Genre: Abuse, Demons, Guns, Hurt/Comfort, Knives, M/M, Manipulation, Self Insert, Supernatural Elements, Technically Knifeplay, Torture, kinda an original work. eek, my own self insert because im a clown, please tell me my thirst isnt coming through here, the mc fucks but he regrets it, theres referenced sexual content in here but its not noncon
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-08-06
Updated: 2019-08-06
Packaged: 2020-08-12 02:47:08
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 11
Words: 7,396
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/20132551
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/h3artpuls3/pseuds/h3artpuls3
Summary: a demon-touched makes a mistake.





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> OK so these (most of the characters) belong to my friends wip story/comic Moonshadow. the pov is from my self insert , the villains also a huge transphobe but i didnt feel comfortable writing that so [shrug emoji] yknow.

he was just supposed to be out for an hour or so. to get some food from the bar that jeremy ran. chill there for a bit before going back home.

he didn't plan to suddenly wake up in a dark room in who knows where. where even /was/ this, anyway?  
he started to sit up, before feeling that something was wrong. his hands were tied. literally. he couldn't move his legs. was that a /cloth/ stuck in his mouth?  
panic started filling his chest as he looked around the room, squinting to see something, /anything/-  
and he couldn't. he couldn't see anything. just an empty-ass room with a bare mattress that he was sitting on. with that, he felt like he was about to cry. he probably already /was/ crying. where the fuck was robiel? did anyone know where he was? what’s even happening?

the door opened, and he immediately turned his head to focus on who was entering. with a glare. he wanted to ask so badly why the hell he was here-

“What’s that look for?”

he continued glaring. not like he could answer this man’s question anyway. if he could, it would probably be ‘where the hell am i’, something like that. he watched the man walk towards him, and his chin was suddenly grabbed. /what the fuck?/ he felt like he was being stared at like an animal in a god-damned zoo.  
the man seemed to be boasting about something, he wasn’t really paying attention. a growl left his chest as he kept glaring. when was he going to move his fucking hand away from him?

“That’s cute. What are you gonna do?”

nothing. he could do nothing, he was tied up like a fucking prisoner. he huffed out through his nose, trying to pull his head away from the man’s grip. that only earned him a scowl.

“Where the hell do you think you’re going?”

/nowhere, you dumbass, i can’t move./ he wanted to retort something, to do anything, to punch him in the face-

“Fine. I suppose I won’t take out that gag then.”

/ugh./ He stopped moving, not trying to struggle away anymore. /fine. take this fucking thing out of my mouth./

suddenly, he felt a hand on his cheek. he barely heard words leave the others mouth, something about him being pretty and little, immediately trying to move away from him. at least he could scoot. all that got him was this laugh. he didn’t like this at /all/. 

"I know you're not the big fish in the pond around here. But by the time I'm finished, you'll give me the answers I need, won't you?"

…what the fuck?

“Who’s your master?”

what the fuck?? what was he even talking about? he /had/ none of that, just-  
was he talking about…? 

it seemed like he was quiet too long, because the man didn’t look happy at all.

“Don’t want to tell me?”

before he could think, he was yanked forward roughly. he felt panic start rising in his stomach again-

“Fine. You can starve down here.”

/what?/ no. no no no no, what? what the fuck? he watched him leave the room, the lights being turned back off. he squinted after a bit, the panic and shock fading away. /how do you want me to answer a question with me still being fucking silenced? really?/ he huffed again, turning towards the wall to try to sleep. maybe this was just a nightmare.

after a bit, he heard the dear open again. he opened his eyes slightly and rolled them. probably just more one-sided questioning. he just listened to the footsteps coming closer before his shirt was grabbed- Was that fucking tearing. he immediately opened his eyes to look and saw the glint of a knife.

he proceeded to lose his shit, trying to shove himself away, kick him away, anything- he only comprehended the words “Stay still” coming out of his mouth, probably with an insult. it didn’t matter anyway, he was fucking /terrified/.

he felt his shirt come off, his scars being traced- he HATED this he wanted to leave-

“Where did you get these from?”

he hated that smile. that mocking, fucking disgusting smile. he wasn’t allowed to leave until he did what this bastard wanted him to do, wasn't he? he simply grumbled in response, glaring at him in fear and anger. he watched his jeans get sliced at slowly, almost letting out a growl before the sharp weapon was held to his throat.  
jesus christ. 

the gag was finally taken out as this point and he stayed silent, taking the hint. no yelling. or screaming. got it. doesn’t mean he had to speak politely.

“Good boy. Now, you’re going to answer my questions.”

this was gonna be fun. 

“You won’t be able to get what you’re looking for. Answers or not? You won’t like the outcome.”

“...Be less vague.”

this was going to be /so/ fun.

“Oh, you want me to speak in stupi-”

he keeled over with a yelp as the bastard’s hand, well, backhanded him.  
this wasn’t going to be fun. nevermind. fuck. he glanced upwards, only to see a smirk on his fucking face.

“You… will die horribly. No matter what I do. So none of this matters.” 

all that got him was a scowl and the gag getting shoved back in his mouth. /well. he didnt like that./ a snort escaped him-

and he felt pain. the knife sliced into his back. was he crying? he was probably crying.

“Are you ready to give me real answers, demon?”

no. he wouldn’t. he kept his face down. if he saw him crying…

he felt the gag taken out again.

“Who is your master?”

he was quiet for a few moments, and kept staring at the floor.

“...The devil himself.”

nice one. he could feel the annoyance in the room.

“Who are the demons in the area?”

“...Only one that I know of.”

He saw the glint of the knife in his vision, and winced at it. 

“What?? I’m giving real answers.”

“I asked for who. I know you’re lying.”

he lifted his head in slight fear, tensing.

“T...two.”

this bastard didn’t deserve answers. his friends didn’t deserve what could happen if he caved. he frowned to himself, thinking of what he could do to get out of this situation-

“I know there are two. I want names.”

“I’m not GIVING you their names, you son of a bi-”

his side /burned/, and he screamed out before clamping his mouth shut.

“I asked for names.”

ohhhh, no no no no no. he felt himself shaking, trembling, tears forming in his eyes. he didn’t want this. he didn’t want to. 

“Come on. Be a good boy. Give me their names.”

he felt words leave his mouth before he could stop it.

“Don’t CALL ME THAT YOU PIECE OF-”

he felt like he couldn't breathe. his ears were ringing. everything fucking hurt. what’d he just say?

“Louder, boy. I can’t hear you.”

/what did he just say??/ he blinked a few times, and blankly stared at the blood on himself.  
he saw the knife raise out of the corner of his vision-

“R-robiel. Jeremy.” 

oh god, what did he just do.

“That shouldn’t have been so hard.”

oh god what did he JUST DO.  
a whimper escaped him, and he kept staring at the blood.  
he felt something touch his side, and he winced. he didn’t care what it was. he didn’t want the contact. he didn’t /care/ if it was being cleaned or messed with. just let the blood dry.

“...can i leave now.”

“What, so you can run home crying to your master before I have the chance to hunt him down?”

“I… what /more/ do you have to ask. I already- already warned you what would happen.”

he wasn’t listening.

“It’s cute that you thought I’d just let you go. What’s your name?”

“I’d rather /not/ have to hear my name leave your mouth.”

“Alright. Be a brat.”

he tried responding, only to have the gag shoved back. again. he grumbled, glaring at him for a moment before wincing in a panic. he looked back down just as quick. 

...he left. good. he curled up in the corner of the mattress, whining quietly. he had a feeling he wouldn't sleep well.


	2. Chapter 2

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> implied sexual content {doesnt happen here}

he woke up with a start, immediately trying to flatten himself against the wall.  
he was standing right there. with… food?

“Hush. You’re hungry, aren’t you?”

...he wasn’t sure if he wanted to eat, honestly. but, whatever. if he was going to make it through this-  
he scooted forward a little bit, being ungagged. he forced himself to eat, only having taken a few bites before noticing something was… off. he reached up to his throat.

“...take this off of me.”

he just watched him. blankly. did he need to /repeat himself?/

“take this OFF OF ME.”

he still didn’t respond.

“TAKE THIS OFF OF ME /TAKE THIS OFF-/”

“Shut up and eat. Aren’t you already used to being a demon’s pet?”

/get this fucking collar off of me./ he felt sick as he continued eating, but at this point it was just… stress eating. he was so fucking stressed. 

as soon as he finished, it got worse.  
suddenly he was staring up at the bastard, being pressed against the wall with his chin grabbed.

“Tell me your name, and I’ll get off.”

he wanted to scream. to kick. to fight. he wanted this over. he just muttered his name, his stomach twisting.

“Oh? I didn’t quite catch that.”

“It’s Leo, now /get the fuck away from me./”

“Oh, Leo, is it?”

whaaat the fuck. he doesn’t like the way he just said that. he tried shying away, freezing when his cheek was stroked. 

"I see it now. You're a fierce little kitty, aren't you?"

“l-leave me alone.”

"It's the wolf that tamed you, isn't it?"

he hated that wording. he’s NOT going to answer that. he refused to look at him.

“That’s a yes then.”

no. he wasn’t /tamed/, he wasn’t some wild animal-

“Go a-away.” 

“Do I need to bring the knife back out?

he shakily inhaled, clamping his mouth shut. no. no, he didn't. he hated this.

“Words, Leo.”

Panic.

“N-no, you don’t, you dont.”

“You’re still missing something.”

rage churned in his stomach at that. was… he seriously thinking- No. no fucking WAY. ABSOLUTELY NOT.  
he spat in his face.  
and suddenly he was slammed into the wall. he made a strained whimper, watching hands go to his neck- oh right, there was a collar there- WAIT- oh no no no no stop-  
he felt it tighten around his neck little by little, his panic growing more and more.

“Use your words, Leo, and I might leave you alone.”

“Please stop- please-”

“Like I said, you’re missing something.”

he kept repeating himself, until suddenly it /hurt too much/, and he forced the word this bastard was looking for out of his mouth. over. and over. and over.  
he felt disgusted with himself. why did it matter if he choked to death?  
he felt it loosen. the slightest bit. enough for him to breathe again. 

“Whether you like it or not, I’ll break you in.”

he merely whimpered in response, looking away the moment he saw a grin. that… bastard looked so proud of himself. he felt sick.

“I think you may have earned yourself a blanket.”

part of him felt. happy at that. ugh, what was /happening/ to him? he caught the blanket as it was thrown at him, immediately going to curl up and burrow into it, sort of like a nest-

“You really /are/ a little cat.”

“...go away.”

“I could take it away.”

he panicked a bit at that, just curling into the blanket more. once he… /thought/ he left, he uncurled and stared at his hands. am… am i ever going to get out of here?  
he hadn't left.

“It’s adorable. You think your master is going to dive in and save you?”

he didn't answer, freezing up.

“That he’ll be able to kill me? He won’t. He’ll be caught. And it’ll be your fault.”

no. no. he can’t. he /can’t/ die.

“Don’t defend that demon.”

he started tearing up, pushing his face into the blankets. he still didn’t respond.

“How’d he acquire you, anyway? Did your parents sell you? Did he trick you? Or… did you sell yourself?”

…

“Don’t ignore me, Leo.”

he felt hands on him. squeezing his sides, going for his scar-

“He- We had lunch-”

he was so fucking uncomfortable.

“He bought you with a meal?”

“yes.”

he tried shoving him off, somehow- of course it didnt work-  
he was pinned.  
he was /pinned/ he was staring up at this bastard’s face-

“You became his whore for what? A burger?”

“N-no? I- /get away from me/-”

“Then what? His lover?”

that was… definitely mocking him. he opened his mouth to retort before whining as one of the scars /HE GAVE HIM/ was picked at-

“I… I didn’t /know/ I came to terms with it later-”

“So he kidnapped you. He stole you.”

was that? SYMPATHY in his voice? excuse me?

“Don’t act like you didn’t just do the same fucking thing, at least he-”

“At least he what? I’m not spreading your legs, am I? I didn’t yank away your very soul, did I?”

“Get away from me you disgusting little APE.”

that sure pissed him off.

“He’s rattled your brain awfully. Maybe I should correct that with a /proper/ touch-”

he went fucking ballistic at this. he thrashed, trying to kick him, knee him, elbow him, and spit in his fucking face again. SOMETHING to get him away.  
he pulled away. and reached for the knife.

“He doesn't love you. You’re his /toy/. His commodity. Don’t trick yourself into thinking it’s something more.”

“Shut UP.”

“You don’t want to hear the truth.”

“And you don’t know ANYTHING! You don’t know SHIT. You’re just a sad, poor old human being who’s going to die /alone./”

he felt himself be pinned into the mattress again. the blade pressed threateningly on him.

“You don’t want to hear the truth.”

he mocked him. still fuming.

“Be quiet, you feral little beast.”

he was about to respond to that before his back /stung/. he went still, not daring to do anything.

“Apologize, Leo.”

“...no.”

it stung again. he winced, refusing to say anything. it kept stinging. he didn’t know how long this would go on for. it hurt. it HURT-

“Okay, okay, i’m sorry, i’m sorry, please- please stop, i’m sorry-”

he didn’t know what happened after that.


	3. Chapter 3

he woke up to an empty room. no one there. just a plate of food. he quickly slide it over to him, wincing at his sore back, before sleeping again.

the next time he woke, he heard footsteps. in the room. he immediately steadied his breathing again to seem like he was still asleep. the sliding of the plate rung in his ears a little. the food was probably being changed out. 

“I killed him, y’know.”

he stopped breathing at that for a few moments, before sitting up and icily laughing.

“He would’ve killed you where you were standing.”

you fucking liar.

“I was teasing. But, now that I know you’re awake… How many more of you are there?”

“One.”

Like hell he was going to let this bastard know about /his sibling/.

“And who does the kiddo belong to?”

wait. wait. WHAT? fuck. fuck no.  
he turned around, staring at him with ice in his eyes.

“Let me rephrase. Tell me, or I’ll bring the kid down here myself.”

“Leave them alone.”

“To who? Robiel or Jeremy?”

“Don’t you /dare/ lay a fucking hand on them.”

“I won’t, if you give me an answer.”

he stayed quiet, before turning back towards the wall.

“...Jeremy.”

“Good. So you’re learning better than to lie. And the other one. Is he also Robiel’s?”

“...Yes.”

“It seems Jeremy takes better care of his /property/ than your master does.”

he looked back, starting to glare.

“It was an accident.”

“Yes. All these bite marks and scratches from the White Wolf are all accidents.”

he stayed quiet.

“And the other one. Is he also weak?”

“...I wouldn’t say any of them are weak.”

“You don’t know magic. I’d signify that as weak. Does he?”

“Not sure. I can beat your ass if you let me out of these ties though, without magic.”

“Sure you can, sweetie.”

“You don’t even /know/ magic either, that makes you weak.”

“The difference is I’m human. You people aren’t.”

“...don’t call me that word.”

“Don’t call you what, kitten?”

he froze, glaring harder at him.

“Shut the fuck up. Now.”

“Unless you’d rather I question the child.”

nonononNONONO

“Don’t-”

“Then stop giving half-assed answers.”

“F-fine. Fine, I… I wont.”

“Where is the portal to the Hellmouth?”

he said it. he…. he said it. he watched the bastard grin widely, and turned away, trying to bite his hand. oh god, he hated himself.

“What’s the long face for, pet?”

“...don’t call me pet.”

“That’s what you are, isn’t it? A demon’s glorified pet?”

he… he gave up. he crunched down on his hand for a second, before putting it down. 

“what… else do you want to know. get it over with.”

apparently nothing, right then. his blanket was given back to him.

“Don’t look so glum, pet. It could always be worse.”

he was silent, and went to hide in the blanket. /he/ left for a moment, before coming back into the room with something. was he being… bandaged?

“What else do you know? About creatures in the area.”

oh. there’s a question.

“Not… a lot.”

“Tell me what you know.”

it felt odd. his voice wasn’t /angry/, it was just. ominously calm.   
he answered.

“Good, good. You didn’t have to be difficult, y’know. You could’ve been this easy from the start.”

he sounded too fucking proud of himself. he exhaled tiredly, not responding to that.  
his chin was suddenly grabbed and now he was being forced to look at him. /what now/. he felt so tired.

“Did I finally break you in, kitten?”

he /hated that/. he forced himself not to move or say anything in fear of being hurt again. he smirked, and let his chin go.

“...When will you let me leave.”

“After I kill him.”

he winced at that. forced himself to not react. dipped his head.  
the bastard left at that.

the next few times he came down, he stayed quiet. just dropping off the food. and then leaving.  
...what?

he had no idea of how much time had passed. he just tried to sleep most of the time.


	4. Chapter 4

he caved.

“When… are you going to kill him?”

it hurt to ask.

“We’re planning a raid.”

“..h-how… soon will that be?”

“Within the week.”

their cabin was right by the portal.

“Think of it as petty revenge against him, for stealing you.”

kai’s cabin was right by the fucking portal. he felt distress BUBBLE in him, and forced himself not to tear up.  
oh god. kai…

“Tell me about the Hellmouth, Leo.”

he answered. shakily.

“Oh, good boy. I knew you’d make for a nice informant.”

he didn’t like that.

“What were you to him?”

he felt his neck scar be grazed over. he flinched away from that, and the usage of were.

“A lover, a consort, a toy?”

…

“He didn’t love you, you know.”

haha.

“They play pretend, Leo. Whether like that or the dumb parent and child game. But it’s all fake. Contrived. They can’t love, Leo.”

hahahaha.  
he looked away. he didn’t want to get hurt by responding to that.

“If you didn’t willingly give yourself over, what makes you think he didn’t alter your mind? Make you incapable of hating him?”

he brought the blanket closer.

“It would’ve been easy for him. And deep down, you know I have a point. He could’ve altered your mind. Made you think you loved him, even if you loathed him.”

he… did.

“i… i don’t know.”

“Hush. Hush now. I’m just telling you to be careful. Don’t be getting so upset over a monster’s demise.”

he felt himself tear up.  
the man left.  
left him with that.  
with all of that to think about.

/did/ he even love him?

he couldn’t sleep. the ceiling was too interesting.


	5. Chapter 5

he lied.

he fell asleep, after an hour or so.

when he woke up, he smelled... smoke? he sat up, looking around a moment before staring at the man. coming in the room. what was... that other smell? he gave him a questioning look. seemed... giddy. joyful. 

"what... are you happy about?"

"Finally got to exterminate some pests."

he squinted, tilting his head. morbid curiosity.

"pests...? what? what did you do?"

"I think this is cause to celebrate."

he was sitting next to him now. did he /seriously/ bring drinks? what the fuck was going on?

"but what did you /do/?"

"I set the fucker's house on fire. Let's just /see/ their shitty ghosts try and manifest."

"who?? /what??/"

he glanced at the mans hands, and then face. there didn't... seem to be any blood. he felt slightly distraught. who got hurt?

"Those fucking mutts that run around town."

"names."

he forgot he had that thing on his neck, and now he was being yanked forward. he grumbled, glancing away-

"One of the most annoying patients I've ever had. /Clay Anderson./"

who? /patient?/ who was this bastard? WHAT was this bastard? a doctor? who even had patients?  
... he didn't recognize that name. were they a kid? oh god, did he hurt a kid-  
he was let go after a few moments. seemed to be in a /really/ good mood. he felt sick.

"We're both drinking to this."

"....no?"

people are probably dead. he wouldn't drink to that. what the fuck.

surprisingly, the bastard didn't push it.

"That fucker won't know what hit him tomorrow morning."

he was... grinning. he wished he could do something about this. he was too HAPPY about hurting people, hurting someone. watched him take a swig of the bottle. 

"one's... alive? what even happened?'

he watched the bastard shrug.

"Fucker killed his own parents. I set his house on fire. He ran like the coward he is."

...what? no. no fucking way, he what? god, this poor kid. he needed to figure this out-

"Brat's gonna learn a lesson soon though."

he felt sick to his stomach.

"What's that look for? I'm not replacing you anytime soon."

"N-no, i'm just... confused. What are you planning on doing?"

he immediately felt like he shouldn't have asked that.

"It'll spoil the fun if I tell you."

pinned.

"Don't tell me you're dragging him in here too."

"Nope! He's going somewhere /better/."

"and... wh-where... would that be?"

"You'll get to figure it out soon."

he made the mistake of looking away.


	6. Chapter 6

all he felt the next time he woke up was disgust. he didn’t know why.  
what even- Oh god. That's why he felt disgusted.

he started to cry. he knew there was food. somewhere. he didn't see it, but… he didn’t want to eat. he’d probably just have it coming out his mouth later anyway.

he ate it a couple hours later.  
he didn’t know how much time had passed by the time he saw /him/ again.

he was staring at the ceiling again then. seems he wasnt happy that he wasnt sleeping.  
he just glanced over.

"i'm trying to."

he felt the bed dip. probably him sitting down.

"Come here."

...he'd get hurt if he didn't. so he sat up, and listened to him.  
he was dragged onto the man's lap.  
he felt... tired. conflicted. he didnt know.  
his hair was stroked. was pet. he felt warm.

the next thing he knew, he woke up again. alone. with a blanket draped over him.  
he must've fell asleep for a while, because now he was coming into the room. again. with a fucking /smirk/. he automatically glared.

"What's that look for, beastie?"

he dropped the glare immediately, feeling the fear form a pit in his stomach.

"What... do you want."

"You should know! You're not getting let go."

"You made that clear already."

"Not by /me/, at least. Once we get rid of /him/, the boys down at the org might like to have a look at you..."

what the fuck did that mean.

"Oh, don't get the wrong idea."

he stared at the cruel smirk forming on his face. no. seriously. what the fuck did that mean?  
apparently he was now curled up in the corner of the mattress with the blanket. he only noticed because he was laughing.

"It's been forever since they got to experiment with a fledgling."

"Just... get to the point. Why are you here right now."

what the fuck was a fledgling.

"I just thought you should know."

he glared at the smile for a second before trying to hide more in the blanket. to ignore him. obviously it wouldn't fucking work.

"Drop the attitude. Come here."

he shuddered the smallest bit, going over anyway. he fucking hated this.

"Aw, afraid of me, kitten?"

the collar was tugged, immediately forcing a response out of him.

"Yes."

"Then you're smarter than I gave you credit for."

he wasn't stupid. fuck you. he forced himself to stay still, to keep the panic down-  
he was being pinned down again.  
did this bastard /exist/ to make staying calm hard? he thought it was soooo fucking funny.

"Leave me alone."

"Are you going to beg for it?"

jesus fucking christ?   
he stayed silent to try spiting him.  
all that managed to do was... was.... oh hell no- STOP.

"Shh, shh. You're fine, Leo. Use your words."

"Stop, fucking get away from me-"

"Ah, ah. Nicer words than that."

"...p-please stop?"

"You're still missing something."

he had the feeling he was going to rip out someones throat as soon as he was able. whether his own, or the other's, was the question.

"...please stop, sir."

"To think, you let yourself be a demon's whore, but you freak out at my /joke/."

ow. what the fuck. he bit his tounge on that, and when he wasn't pinned anymore, he went back to the corner. cautiously.

"Tell me about the other one. The other fledgling."

what the fuck did that even MEAN still? he felt his mouth open before he could stop it. well. that's more self-hatred for him.

"Would he try and defend your master in an attack?"

no. yes. he didn't know. what would matthias even do?

"...it's likely."

good enough answer. that would probably-

"So he'll need to be plucked out of the way."

probably NOT do anything, god fucking damnit- FUCK.  
god, was robiel even looking for him anymore? did he even matter?

"Is he powerful?"

"Yeah."

he was thinking of him. so he answered like they were talking about him.

"The fledgling. Not the demon."

"..oh. I don't know if he is."

"You don't talk to him?"

"I do, but... never noticed anything."

he glanced over to see him opening his mouth to respond. hell no. /i’m/ talking again.

“What the fuck is even a fledgling?”

“That’s what you are.”

that didnt answer his question. at all. his face was probably the most expressive that it’d been in days.

“How did you /think/ demons reproduced? They take humans. And they warp them until they aren’t human anymore.”

...huh?

“That’s what he’s doing to you. To the other one. They’re making more of their kind. Expanding their numbers.”

...why did he never tell me this? what more is he hiding from me?

“I’m not the bad guy here, Leo.”

after a few moments, he exhaled quietly.  
it sounded slightly pained. hurt.

“What, did he never tell you? ...The kid didn’t even tell you?”

“...no.”

“I didn’t think he would’ve.”

“how … long has it been?”

“Oh, just a week.”

“...it feels like longer.”

he was lying to him. it HAD to have been longer.   
he didn’t hear any response. might not have responded at all, or he might’ve just ignored it. by accident or on purpose, who knows.  
he stayed silent. long enough for him to leave the room again.  
and then he just slept.


	7. Chapter 7

he was woken up by the doorknob rattling.  
what the fuck was that. who the fuck was that. he sat straight up, backing into the corner, about to let out a hiss. who the fuck was THERE. did he come back drunk as hell? forgetting how to open a god damn door? what time even was it-

the door opened.

he couldn’t believe who it was.

they- the kid- they- /Kai/ walked towards them, undoing the rope. both of them were in a quiet, wide-eyed shock. he… wanted to hug them so bad. but… what if this was a trick? that didn’t make sense to him at all, but he still felt so /nervous/.

and… for the first time?  
he noticed how they seemed transparent somehow. almost holographic. when did that happen?

“Come on, Leo… let’s go home.”

home. /home/. oh thank god.

he shakily got up to follow, trying to breathe-

he heard a car. pull up. the driveway. oh. oh god.  
he froze for a moment, looking to kai and then back towards the noise-

the kid, /bless/ their fucking existence, grabbed his arm and started running.

he ran, ran for who knows how long, until suddenly he felt /safe/. he glanced around, shaking, breathing heavily, nearly falling to his knees. he blinked-

suddenly he was in the cabin. they were handing him a new shirt.

“...thank you.”

god, that sounded quiet. too quiet. he was brought into a bear hug. he winced, trying to raise his arms to hug them back… but… they felt so shaky. he just let them stay by his sides. he’d put the shirt on after.

...wasn’t the door locked, down there? how’d they even get in-

“Are you /okay?!”

he didn’t know. he gave a weak shrug.

he was being handed one of the cats now. /cat/. he gladly held the baby boy in his arms, smiling a little. aww, it was purring.

“Did. Did he find out the entrance.”

fuck. FUCK HE FORGOT ABOUT THAT.  
he stopped petting the cat- when did he even start?- and tried opening his mouth to answer. nothing was coming out. he looked back down at the cat, feeling so fucking guilty-

“Just. Yes or no. I can move it I just. Have to know.”

“y-y...es.”

that sounded terribly strained. at least he got it out though. everything… would be okay, right?

“Okay. I can get the door moved. It’s not as bad as it could be.”

how… bad could it have been? he felt anxious again. he tried to relax by focusing on the cat’s purring.

they offered to heal his back. he declined. he didn’t… want to think of them. not now. not ever. 

“Do you want me to go find Robiel?”

...he didn’t know. the words /he/ said kept repeating in his mind and he just- he-

“...if you want to.”

he heard the door open almost immediately after that. jumped a little, glanced over at-  
jeremy. it was jeremy. it wasn't him. his mind started repeating everything louder, and he excused himself to the other room. it's okay. he's ok. kai trusts him.  
...kai lied to him.  
no. no, they didn't, they didn't lie, it was just-

"Can't you just... get rid of him like you do the others?"

who? what? what others?

"I can't just get rid of him, his cell would get suspicious."

him? whos h-

"You would've done it if it'd had been /me/ down there."

oh. ha. hahahahahahahahahahahahahah-  
he found himself curling up in the corner again, a few blankets in hand, cats already approaching him. good. cats were great.  
he fell asleep to the purring.


	8. Chapter 8

the smell of food woke him up. where was he? was that just a dream? was he still stuck there? he saw the walls of the basement for a moment, and then-

"Breakfast!"

...that was kai's voice. he blinked, seeing the cabin around him.  
that's right. he wasn't there anymore. thank god. he shuffled out of the pile of blankets, trying not to disturb the couple of cats sleeping around him, and sat down at the table-  
oh. the shirt. that's right. he quickly grabbed that, yanking it down. covered. not gonna go around topless anymore. fuck that.

after a bit of... awkward-feeling silence, he looked up from his food.  
he was gonna get this overwith. rip the bandaid off.

"...you never told me."

"Told you about what?"

"...about..."

he paused for a moment, feeling his stomach begin to churn the tiniest bit.

"fledglings. about t-those. that's what... he called me. you."

he winced while saying that, taking in a deep breath and looking back down at his food. was he even hungry anymore?

"...No. That's the wrong word."

...what?

"We're demontouched. It's... what happens when we make a deal and stay here. Their ability for magic is contagious. Simplest way of putting it."

he felt himself smile.

"...sounds nicer than how it was put. to me."

he looked up from his food to see them smile back.   
god, he missed that smile.

"I didn't really know either. I figured it out. And... I thought you already knew, because I taught you those spells."

"didn't put two and two together, i guess." 

he snorted in amusement at himself. man. that was stupid. it was all okay. it was.  
it really was.  
he ended up wolfing down the food happily, nearly grinning from ear to ear.

"forgot how good your food was-"

he stopped himself from making a joke about the food he /was/ eating before.   
...ugh. can't he just have one good moment without THAT ruining his mood? now he's thinking about all of it.  
he paused for a moment as kai handed an apple to him. oh. oh fuck. more food. he gladly took it. he fucking loved apples.  
he took a big crunch out of it before deciding to ask kai about another thing.

"...told me that my memories could've been manipulated."

"They weren't."

thaaat was a quick response.

"I kept journals even before he found me. No inconsistencies."

he felt himself smile bigger. another large bite out of the fruit.

"...glad that's not the case. thanks, kai."

...that only explained jeremy.

"Did you want me to find him?"

"where even is he-"

"He's been losing his shit."

oh. ow. fuck.

"yes."

he felt so fucking guilty and nervous hearing that. wait, did he just respond?

"He's... just been worried."

seemed like kai picked up on his internal struggle. aw, fuck.

"you... can do that. I'm okay."

WILL i be okay?  
he felt them bring him into a hug. yeah, he didn't sound fine at all.

"...i'm okay."

"He isn't gonna get away with it."  
"it's just probably better that you get him sooner rather than later-" 

wait, what-  
oh. ohhhh. what kai said just registered-  
he was starting to cry. the hug felt like it got tighter, and he let out a shakey exhale. a tired smile.

"...you should probably go get him, kai."

if he's been losing his shit... he didn't want to drag that on.

he watched kai leave, and went back to the cats.  
he must've fallen asleep again at some point.


	9. Chapter 9

he felt something-someone holding him when he woke up again. who was holding him. no no nononononononono he was back there NO get AWAY FROM HIM he didn't want-  
all of his limbs felt weighted down. he tried flailing, swinging, anything, he didn't WANT HIM NEAR HIM this was a nightmare, wasn't it. just a fucked up dream. that'd last forever. and ever. and-

"It's okay, shh..."

that didn't- didn't sound like him. what was going on?  
he whined, closing his eyes and trying to breathe. his ears felt like they were ringing.

"You're safe, love..."

...robiel? that was.... that was robiel. not...  
he opened his eyes again after a few moments, not seeing the bare walls or red anymore.  
he melted into the touch almost immediately after that, burying his face.  
he felt... at peace. safe. /home/. his hand moved to gently run his fingers through robiel's tail, and his breathing finally went even.

after a bit, he fell asleep again.

he woke up, still being held, and looked around. oh. heh. he was being carried.   
this was comfy. nice. /safe/.

"I'll kill him for you."

...he'd like that.

"thank you. i'm sorry."

"You didn't know, I should've let you know it was dangerous."

he simply just hummed in response, trying to press closer into the hold.

"...i missed you."

"I missed you too, ki-"

he immediately leaned away, almost falling to the floor. he was caught. was he hyperventilating?

'Do I have to bring out the knife?'

"Did he-"

'Stay /still/.'

"no. no-"

(him leaning into his hand.)

he couldn't breathe. he didn't want to think. 

'god, what took you so long-'

bruises.

'please leave me alone- im sorry im s-'

can't breathe.

'Sorry doesn't cut it.'

...

he eventually felt his breathing steady, and he closed his eyes again. what was he thinking about again?  
he felt himself gradually be set down. why did robiel look angry?  
...did he say anything?

matthias was hugging him one day.  
his heart felt warmed at that.

"Are you okay?"

"...i will be."

probably.

"Is your back okay?"

"...it's seen better days, kai."

he was told just then about their own back. poor thing.

"But... I don't have to worry about them anymore. And you don't have to worry about him."

he didn't. they were right. he kept hugging them gently, bringing his arm up to ruffle their hair. 

it was going to be okay.


	10. Chapter 10

the next time he went out, it was with a knife.  
he was at jeremy’s bar. relaxing, laughing, talking.

then it was time for him to leave. he waved as he walked out, in a good mood, and started to walk back to hellmouth.

…

he shoved his hand in his pocket. someone was following him. he picked up his pace, turning sharply into the wrong direction. the woods. he’d circle back to the bar. make it seem like he forgot something.

the next thing he knew, he was slammed against a tree, coming face first to a gun and-  
no. helllllll no.   
he wouldn’t go back.  
he grabbed the arm holding the gun, trying to break it. twist it. /something/.  
a knee jabbed into his chest, and he wheezed, wincing in pain.  
no. no no no-  
he yanked the knife out of his pocket, swiping as hard as he could.

… 

it was yanked out of his hands.  
and pointing at him now.

“Tell me where it is, Leo.”

he felt furious.

“No.”

“Do you want me to take you back, or do you want to stay free?”

“I want you to die.”

he spit in his face, watching one of his eyes close.

=============================================

his

stomach

hurt

so

bad

“i-i’m not… going through this again.”

“Tell me where it is, and I’ll let you leave.”

“y-your fucking grave.”

he somehow dodged the fist that was coming towards his head. tried to kick him away. started screaming, please, someone fucking HEAR HIM-

he heard a loud pop, and he felt himself slump over, his vision fading-

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> you know he got stabbed


	11. Chapter 11

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> this is the end of it, YES theres a cliffhanger NO i'm prolly not gonna continue writing this, this is from like months ago

he woke up staring at a blank, white wall.  
he refused to move. to talk.  
can’t go through this again. no.  
…  
he heard arguing outside.

“Why the FUCK didn’t you … first time? ...probably gone and spoken to…”

he didn’t recognize that voice.

“No. You /aren’t/ going in there. ...talking to him.”

“...too soft!”

he knew THAT one. he felt himself tense almost immediately, staring warily at the door. he couldn’t hear anything else.

… was that an ‘ow’? From-?

"Go back to your station."

“B- but-”

“/Now/.”

the door opened a few moments later, and he stopped a giggle from coming out of his mouth. ...this guy just smacked the bastard, didn’t they?  
that was fucking hilarious. he wished he could've heard more.  
who even was this, though? where was he?? ...it certainly was better than being stuck in a probably moldy old basement.

“You need anything, sweetie?”

"n-no. heh. not at the moment."

he wouldn't ask what /that/ was all about.

“So, he had you for a while, hm?”

oh. they want to ask questions. this was fine.

"...yes. yes, he did."

“How was that stay?”

“Terrible.”

“And how so? What did he do?”

he paused for a moment, eyeing them warily. how... was he supposed to answer that?

"...well. things worse than stabbing me in the stomach earlier, that's for sure."

maybe that wasn't a good enough answer. he quickly added onto that.

"my back is... a... uh. prime example of the answer to that question?"

“Can I see it?”

“yes. sure.”

he watched as they came closer to him, and closed his eyes, forcing himself not to tense when his shirt was grabbed and then lifted.

“Oh, yeah, /yikes/. Is this the furthest he went?”

god, why did he find that reaction so funny? he snorted.

"..yeah. yikes, indeed-"

he didn't want to answer that. he shook his head, turning his focus to stare at the wall instead.

“Leo, I need an answer. I need to know how far it went so I can bar him from seeing you.”

"it... went further. i'd- i'd rather not-"

he’d rather not say. at all. oh, jesus christ.

“Rather not what? Tell me the truth?”

“I don’t… want to delve into it.”

he felt like screaming. obviously, he wasn't going to, but...

“I see.”

...okay? it was...gonna be that easy for him? to not answer a question? he sighed in quiet relief, turning his head to look back towards them.

“I’m still going to need an answer. No need for it to be in-depth.”

"...he. uh."

he.. didn't know how to say this without wanting to fucking puke. maybe he could try something else. because he /really/ didn't want to say that. at all.

"...does... being drunk as hell around me count? i didn't- didn't drink anything he offered, thank god, but."

“Not quite.” 

he earned a chuckle. huh. ugh, god, this wasn’t easy at all. nevermind. he felt a little stressed. juuuust a little.

“manipulation???”

“What did he tell you?”

now that he thought about it, that probably wouldn’t get him. it didn’t matter if he said it or not. he ended up sighing and shaking his head a bit.

“...nevermind.”

his voice sounded too soft to him, and he forced memories of what was said down. it wouldn't help him right now. it wouldn't help him ever.

“It’s a shame, sweetie. I thought you’d be honest with me.”

"i... i am...? I /am/ being honest-"

he felt like his eyes were starting to tear up.

“That so, hon? Don’t cry now.”

a pause.

“Then, could you be a dear and tell me where you moved the hellmouth to?”

"N-no."

his response was almost immediate, his face turning neutral. he wouldn't. not this time. he wouldn't risk their safety. (again.)

“We can’t let you go until we find it.”

that was fine. he /wouldn't/ do this again.  
he responded to them with a mere nod, trying not to stare into space.

“Which means you might have to see him again.”

fuck.

"shit."

“We can’t let you go until you answer.”

"that's... that's fine. i won't say it."

he couldn’t do this again.

“There’s no need to be so stubborn.”

yes. there was. he stayed quiet, glancing at the wall and then back at them. if... robiel got hurt. if kai got hurt. if ANY of them got hurt... he didn't know what he'd do.  
he heard them click their tongue chidingly, and he glanced BACK from the wall. what?

“Tick tock.”

he winced, watching them leave. what… the fuck just happened? hello? he continued to sit there for a while, staring at the door. who even WAS that? ...ugh. whatever. maybe he could sleep? yeah. he laid back down, trying to do just that.

he slept.


End file.
